Like the smartie you are, you do your homework and run to their website. The first thing you check out?
The before and after photos!
But are we REALLY getting the 411? Or are we getting snowed? I mean, seeing HAS to be believing, right?
Oh the fun begins now...
I've decided to do some researching and give advise on what to look for in a "before and after" photo. Let's take a look at this first example.
Note: the names of the products these photos promote have been removed to protect the... well, you get the picture....
EXAMPLE #1:
This one actually makes me laugh out loud. I enlarged it a bit so it's blurry.....WHY was it posted on the site so SMALL, anyway????? Hmmmmm......
Notice how forlorn and sad the girl is on the left. She's obviously wishing SOMEONE would invent that miracle product that will make her look perfect. Poor girl. Boo hoo, she's so hideous. She looks so drab and unhappy, right? Maybe it's the extra little eyeshadow makeup under her eyes, lol.
But Ooh La La! Check out the girl on the RIGHT! Notice how perky and happy she looks. SMILE! Her hair is darker. She looks thinner, because the photo is taken at a different angle and from farther away. Plus, those spiffy advertising people thought she would look better in a brighter color shirt and a blue background. Guess what? She does!
You TOO can be THIS HAPPY when you BUY THIS PRODUCT!!!! ACT NOW! Happiness in a jar :)
And WHAT is that asterisk after the word "BEFORE" mean? I searched and searched this site, but found no explanation. Hydro Lies? What????? (I SOOOO did not just type that.) And technically, I still did NOT reveal the name of the product, so..... (actually, that product contains some good ingredients - but even there commercials have the disclaimer "DRAMATIZED RESULTS."
GRADE: FAIL. If anybody is throwing facial and body expressions and colors in your face to show you product results, RUN - do NOT pass go and do NOT give them $200....
Next!
EXAMPLE #2:
What the HELL is going on HERE? According to the micro type at the bottom, these photos were taken 2 months apart. And okay, I can sorta tell it's the same person. But ???? Look how much bigger the eye is on the right! Eyes are tricky - she could be smiling and squinting in the left photo and looking straight on for the right one. The lines just above the cheekbone are softened cuz the light is right up on them and the right photo is taken more "in" and "on" the face. Come on, she's TOTALLY squinting on the left!!!
GRADE: FAIL. I just don't trust this one. If only the hair on the right was not covering that little mole - it would've be a telltale sign that at least it's the same person.... Nope, not getting my money either. Nice try, though. But know: we are smarter than the average bear.
Anybody else loving this as much as me?
EXAMPLE #3:
EXAMPLE #4:
Okay. This one is for facial exercises. This guy totally changed his appearance, no? Yes, he removed that nasty double chin, by not having a photo taken of him while his neck was tucked in. I think he also was able to elongate his ears and make his eyes smaller! I'm speechless.
EXAMPLE #5:
OK, now for a good one:
I actually wish that this photo was a little bigger, but the angle and lighting seem relatively close and you can actually see how the girl's brown patches are lighter. I know you are dying to know - okay, this one is Prevage MD. Hey, whatdaya know? For every 5 schlocky ones, there's a winner :) SHOOT! The copy says this is a 55 year old woman! Get OUT! Really? Go Prevage! And Oops, the copy does NOT say how long the woman has used the product. Points off for that, but all in all, a PASSING grade !
EXAMPLE #6:
Come on, we can't stop NOW!!!
Back to good, um, I mean bad....
CURSE you damn PHOTOSHOP!!! CURSES!!!!
Where can I buy this Photoshop Cream? Wait, this spoof ad is so genius, it actually includes an asterisk you can't trace to anything. Like the HydroLies ad above :) LOVE THIS!!!!! (Except that the grammar could be improved.)
And yet, this photo makes me oh so sad at the same time :) Dang, did they actually RAISE her eye on the left too?
Seriously, if this is REAL.... i.e., if this is a real BEFORE, and then AFTER.....well, .... that sounds like an entirely different post...entirely....
What about THIS???????
Sheesh!!!!.....I'm not sure where this one came from. But...I'm scared. So, Madonna is 52, and we, as a cumulative society of women, are expected to look like the RIGHT hand side of the photo, but not the left????? *&#$%@@$#? Wha?
But no worries .... no cosmetic company would actually PHOTOSHOP their "after" pictures........
....would they?
Nawh....that would be crazy...
Welcome to The Jungle,
~The Anti-Aging Analyst
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